If the Rainbow Bridge exists, will the calves and chickens and pigs we have eaten be waiting for us too, but with a less welcoming demeanor than our beloved pets ?
I ask because this afternoon I took dear old Roswell to the vet and only one of us returned home.
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| Snoozing three days ago in front of the fire |
Over the last few days Roswell showed obvious signs of having difficulty getting enough air into his lungs. His thin sides heaved from the effort.
The vet listened to his heart and lungs, informed me he was in heart failure and said "It's time".
I suspected when I went that that would be the outcome, but part of me hoped...
It's at times like this that you realize what a painful thing love can be. That silly sweet pain in the ass cat had no idea that as I held him and stroked him in his fuzzy blanket that he was about to die. I stroked him and cried quiet tears. My head still aches from those tears and tears. At the time I could see how he fought to breathe -- and then he didn't. It's rare to see the reality of death. Here now. Now gone. GONE not to be called back by all the love in the world. Comforting words spoken. "Just sleep sweetie. Just go to sleep". Then wishing those eyes would open and gaze upon you one more time but knowing that you would not wish him back into this realm the way he was.
Yup. Love hurts.
Still ...
I missed his shrill "meow" as I walked back in the door; tonight I'll miss his nudges as he demands I lift the bed sheets so that he can track his litter covered paws into my bed and I'll miss his painful snaggle tooth scraping across my cheek asking for attention.
I know Roswell is out of pain and he didn't suffer fear about death. That is left to me. To wonder where my little friend is now and where I will go when it is my turn.
And if we will see each other again.
What do you think ?
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